7 Wedding Planning Myths Debunked
He dropped down on one knee, popped the question, and you said YES! Now, you have the biggest event of your life at your fingertips, and you already feel behind in the planning. Your mom and friends who are already married start offering unsolicited advice, and your quick google search of “How to Plan a Wedding” immediately causes you to call your finance to see if he would be down to elope on a cliff in Tuscany. (Don’t worry, we have ALL been here).
With over a decade of experience, I’m here to tell you to throw all of the advice out the window. In our Dream Day Method, we take our clients through a step-by-step process that begin with establishing your vision, values, & vibe and debunking the wedding planning myths. Here are some of my favorites:
Myth #1: There needs to be a cake cutting.
Cake is a tradition you do NOT have to feel forced to incorporate into your wedding day! What is a dessert that both of you indulge in on a date night? Do you have an ice cream spot that you went to on your first date that screams “this is us!”? Although cutting the cake used to be a must-have tradition in older generations, many couples are finding that this type of dessert is not best suited for them, and needs to be swapped out for one of their favorites.
Myth #2: You are obligated to invite the world!
As you’re crafting your guest list, you have your parents in your ear saying: “Don’t forget your great aunt sally! Or your second cousin Katie and Andrew, who also has a spouse and two kids! Oh and how many friends can I invite?
Many couples struggle with scaling back on their guest list because of all the people they feel obligated to invite. Whether it be plus ones, kids, extended family, or parents friends - know that you do not have to invite anyone to the wedding. This is YOUR day, and it should be shared with people who know you and love you. My rule of thumb is: “Do you see yourself being close to them in 5 years? Or “When was the last time you spoke to them on the phone or in person?” If it’s over a year ago, then I recommend crossing them off the list.
Myth #3: You don’t need a wedding planner
Now that weddings are more expensive and elaborate than ever, it’s important to have a professional who knows your vision, values, & vibe so they can expertly guide you through the planning process, so you don’t have to deal with all the hiccups weeks, days, or hours before the event. The amount of time and importance this weekend has on you and your family’s life should indicate that hiring a professional is the biggest return on investment. It allows you to enjoy every day leading up to the big day, and spend your time dancing the night away knowing that everything is under control.
Myth #4: The average cost of a wedding is $30,000.
Although I would love to say this average is accurate, I unfortunately have to have many tough conversations with couples who also google “Average cost of wedding” to educate the true cost of their dream wedding. The cost of a wedding depends on your vision, values, & vibe. Are you envisioning an intimate gathering of 50 people, or an iconic celebration of 200? Are you DIYing your wedding, or getting custom signage, a flowery chuppah, and food trucks? Yes, it is definitely possible to achieve a wedding for $30,000, but are you willing to cut your guest list and scale back on your wedding day values to achieve that?
Most couples also do a quick google search to find the average cost of a wedding, and are completely misguided with false estimations. Wedding vendors, like all small businesses, have increased their prices due to overhead expenses and inflation. It’s important to educate yourselves on what vendors truly cost by gathering multiple quotes and assessing your financial situation from that point.
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Myth #5: Your family needs to be involved in wedding day
Many people feel tension within their families when they become engaged because let’s be honest, families are never perfect! Everyone has their thing that they work through — whether it be a cousin that drinks too much, or a sister that isn’t best friends with your fiancé but expects to be in the wedding party, or a father who expects to man the guest list and all decision-making. Trust me, we’ve seen it all.
There are plenty of ways to make your family feel special and included without giving them roles that do not align with your vision, values, & vibe. Maybe your mom wants to be a huge part of the planning, so instead of having her join your planning calls, you invite her to the floral mockup meeting to make adjustments on your tablescape. Or you allow your parents access to your wedding day budget, but not take part in evaluating each vendor proposal. Or you have 2 brothers and one sister, so instead of having them in the wedding party, you have them read a verse or poem during the ceremony and make a speech during dinner. It’s all about communication and balance.
Myth #6: The bride has to wear white
When you’re the bride, all that should matter is how you feel about yourself. How can you set yourself up so that you feel like the gorgeous, breathtaking queen that you are?! Maybe white makes you feel pale and washed out. Say NO, to that dress!
Brides are now rocking any dress that makes them feel like the most authentic, beautiful version of them. Some are in floral ballgowns, while others are in black satin. Some are in blush, while others are in emerald green. Allow the dress to speak for itself, and go with your gut - not what your friends or family think!
Myth #7: The bride and groom should feel stressed the week before the wedding
I like to make sure my couples feel completely stress-free two weeks before wedding day, so they can pamper and mentally prepare for the biggest day of their lives. Many people become envious or surprised when couples are not stressed out (probably because that was not the case for when they were about to tie the knot). Know that just because you aren’t stressed, doesn’t mean you have not successfully planning and work your a** off! Surround yourself with people who lift you up and build that good energy you need going into wedding weekend, and allow yourself to enjoy this final period before transitioning from fiance to Mr. & Mrs!
Hi, I’m Emily
As your wedding planner, I’m here to capture your vision, help you navigate every decision, and advocate on your behalf to ensure you get the day of your dreams while still delivering an unforgettable experience for you and your guests.
By keeping your vision, values, and vibe at the center of planning, I'll help you navigate every decision and remind you of what's important to you as a couple while having fun along the way to "I do.